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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Assassin's Creed

Ass Creed

Assassin's Creed, henceforth referred to as Ass Creed, is a highly overrated game by Ubisoft.  While a core of gamers and critics consider it nothing more than a "good" game, I consider it a "shit" game.  Most gamers love Ass Creed though, and I often see it ranked as one of the greatest games of this generation.  My ranking would put it alongside greats like Resident Evil 5, Gears of War, and Dragon Age: Origins.

I believe I can fly...

While there are many minor problems with this game, the crippling flaw is that, like with many other games I've listed, Ass Creed is just so boring.  From its repetitive mission design to its slow, tedious combat, it's mind-numbingly boring.  You always have to do several little missions before you can do an assassination, but you do the same goddamn thing over and over again.  Give us some variety for Christ's sake!  You constantly get into fights with guards, who come at you one at a time like in an action movie.  These "fights" consist of waiting for one guy to swing, countering, waiting for another guy to swing, countering, over and over again while holding the block button in between.  You do this for HOURS.  Then you run away until they can't see you and hide somewhere for a while.  It would be ok if the assassinations were awesome, but they're just average.

Don't worry, they can only come at you one at a time.

Then there's the issue of almost no adventuring, despite the huge world.  This is because the Animus will only show certain areas at one time, and a large section for you to actually explore won't be available until very late in the game.  Every once in a while you get to ride your horse from one city to the next, with fucking nothing to do in between (think Twilight Princess, with many mindless NPCs everywhere).  Talk about dull adventuring.  At least it's kinda funny when you trample someone with your horse.  Is that about it?  I think so.  Oh, the story also sucks, and then there's the whole underlying sci-fi shit to make it even worse.

3.5/10


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