Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2

Now, Call of Duty gets a lot of hate on the internet along with the love.  The hate, especially for the games following the original Modern Warfare, has probably outweighed the love.  So why the hell am I going after a more recent Call of Duty instead of Call of Duty 4?  Easy: Because this one is soooooo much easier to make fun of.  And actually, even though the first Modern Warfare had a craptastic, casualized multiplayer, it was still revolutionary on consoles, and the single player wasn't bad at all.  Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2?  It's not just a bad game that is hilariously overrated by critics, it's a total abortion.

The first problem that was widely overlooked because most people didn't even play the single player (the retarded masses much prefer casualized multiplayer to anything else) was that the campaign is only about five hours.  How the hell does a "great" development team like Infinity Ward get two years to make a game with virtually no changes to the graphics or multiplayer (or single player for that matter) but can only manage to give us five hours with the campaign?  Especially when it just sucks anyway.  And when about a third of it is spent doing shit like riding snowmobiles, climbing a mountain, and trying in laughable vain to match Ghillies in the Mist from Call of Duty 4.

GO GO GO!! WE CAN'T LET THE RUSSIANS TAKE OUR WHOPPERS!!

But there is a lot of exciting action (albeit completely set around set pieces as if Infinity Ward was like "This would be a cool idea, and this too, and THIS, let's just set up the rest of the game around these ideas!"), and if you're a tard, then I'll give you a pass for liking it.  Because this is easily one of the most retarded games ever made.  So, an American is sent undercover to kill Russian civilians and apprehend Macaroni, but the Russians knew the whole time he was American, so they kill him, resulting in Russia automatically believing the Americans were behind the entire attack (because the Russians apparently looked further into the agent's identity, but didn't even bother to follow-up on the DOZEN other attackers before deciding on starting a world war), resulting in a Russian invasion of the eastern United States (lmao) and war commencing.

Yeah. Snowmobile shootout. 

Then a whole bunch of shit suddenly happens.  One team goes to Brazil because that's where Macaroni's weapons dealer was for whatever fucking reason (we know they just wanted an excuse to go to Brazil).  The fight in the United States continues, with soldiers fighting frantically to protect Burger King and a convenience store from the invading Russians.  Then we go to Russia, where it ends up that Captain Price is still alive even though we saw him die in Call of Duty 4, though I guess it's possible the soldier that pounded on his chest was actually just pissed because Captain Price slept with his wife.  Anyway, Price takes control of the group, which goes and captures a nuclear submarine that fires above the United States, destroying the International Space Station and creating an EMP, resulting in aircraft raining down on the streets like meteors.

Price and company go looking for Macaroni, but General Shepherd turns on them, revealing that he was behind most of the shit because he's still mad that a bunch of towel-heads ended up nuking his men.  So he sets up the slaughter of countless other soldiers and American civilians to get some imaginary revenge.  Price and Soap and everyone actually decide to make a deal with Macaroni to kill Shepherd, and despite the impossible odds, shock all of us by getting the job done.  That's what happens in Modern Warfare 2.  And yet people argue that this story makes perfect sense, once again proving that most gamers are fucking retarded.

 Changing the meaning of the phrase "bringing a knife to a gunfight."

Let's move on to the multiplayer, the co-op being the only redeeming factor here.  It's still the casualized bullshit it's been since Call of Duty 4, with few tweaks.  There are still a lot of narrow maps, and there are few situations in which you'll actually find yourself working as a team.  It's become more of a knife-fest than ever before, and if you bring a gun to this knife-fight, then so God help you.  You can even throw them now for instant kills; you might as well go bare-hand against a grizzly bear for all the chance you have against a Call of Duty knife-wielder.  Oh, and you get rewarded for sucking, through a system called "deathstreaks."  Because Infinity Ward actively strives for the most casual games in existence. 

4/10